


Liar

by jamethiel



Category: due South
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 16:03:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17062763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamethiel/pseuds/jamethiel
Summary: Ray tries to talk to Fraser about it. But everytime he does, Fraser finds some kind of injustice that has to be fixed right now. It's astonishing how many things need to be done when Ray starts to open his mouth.





	Liar

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2007 for ds_match--team Angst (we won!) Beta by omphale23.

Fraser's not as truthful as everyone thinks. Oh, he doesn't tell lies. Not about the little, general, everyday stuff that everyone else on the planet lies about just to be polite and smooth the path of day to day life. _That's_ the stuff he doesn't lie about.

But everything else? Fraser lies. Fraser lies about everything. Not all the time, but sometimes. Ray can't work out whether Fraser knows he's lying or not. Fraser still tells him stories about the northern lights and twenty-five uses for musk-ox dung. He's not lying about that, but then, why would you?

So he watches Fraser. Which is when he works out that Fraser watches him back. All the time.

So. Fraser is watching him and lying. Ray's never been much for the lying. Not that he can't, of course he can. He's good at it. You had Sister Mary Peter teaching you for two years and you either stayed in the fourth grade _forever_ or you got so that you could look God himself in the eye and tell a lie without twitching. But Ray saves it for those moments, where you can see the fork in the road ahead of you, and you know that going down the one path is going to be awkward at the very best and the only way out of it is to lie. You know, important stuff, about why he can't go to his brother's third kid's christening.

Which is why he sees it when he asks Fraser back for a beer after work. Well, he'll have the beer. Fraser can have tea or something. Fraser says "Thank you kindly, Ray, but I am afraid I have another engagement tonight," and he's _lying_. Ray can tell.

What he can't work out is why Fraser would lie. Because Fraser _doesn't_ lie. Not about things like this, to make things easier, because you're tired and shitty and would rather spend the night alone jerking off in the Consulate than more time in the company of Ray. Or maybe the jerking off part is just Ray. Maybe Fraser alphabetises. Maybe he has a secret career as a dulcimer player or something. Whatever the case, Fraser just lied to Ray about something that normal people would lie about. Ray writes it off this once as a blip, Fraser being tired or something. He dismisses it. Until it happens again.

So Ray watches him. But he's otherwise the same. Which means that either Fraser had a normal moment, or maybe something about spending time with Ray is bigger to Fraser than it is to Ray.

Nothing happens for a while. Well, nothing in terms of Fraser not being Fraser. There's a nut-job who threatens to blow up the local Tax Office (and honestly? Ray's not sure he's such a nut-job) except that this is a threat to a government organization which means Feds. Which means Ray spends a couple of days watching an office where nothing is going to happen while Fraser tells him about spring streams in Nunavut or something. Well, starts to tell him. Fraser stops himself and then Ray thinks he sees something and by the time they get back to the car, the moment is gone.

Then he watches the Feds bully witnesses they should talk to and make friends with scumbags who need the fear of... well, Ray's not sure if he can make them afraid of God, but he's pretty sure he can make them afraid of Ray. Only every time his instincts tell him to move, to do this, the Feds trip him up. Dancing together is a talent. He and Stella used to have it, and in a way, he and Fraser have it now. What these guys do is so— _deliberate_ , and exactly the right thing to do to piss Ray off, Ray figures it's got to be a talent too. An anti-talent.

Anyway, they save the day. Fraser does his "oddly polite and truthful" thing and gets the people out of the building, and Ray gets to kick some heads (turns out the nut-job had a friend. Which, nut-jobs with friends! There ought to be a law). Fraser comes back to help. They may be a little banged up, but they're leaning against the building waiting for the Feds to come do the cleanup. Usually, Ray would fight a little harder, because once the Feds take them they'll get all the credit, but if he takes them in that means hours at processing and liasing with Stella, and Ray is just too tired for that tonight. He looks over at Fraser, who is standing stifly at parade rest. There's blood on Fraser's cheek.

Ray says "Pizza tonight, buddy?" He listens to Fraser start another polite lie, and then he reaches over to wipe the blood off.

Fraser stops. Stops lying. Stops breathing for a moment, and just looks at Ray. 

_Oh._

The thing is, this has been coming for a while. Ray's got plenty of friends, but none like Fraser. Fraser's special like Stella was special. He's just been—waiting. Or something. All he knows is that lying like a maniac didn't work last time, so maybe he should try something different. And he's just about to say something, anything to get the moment to go towards an evening of sex when Fraser stiffens up and says heartily "Well, Ray. As satisfying as this has been, I'd better get back to the Consulate and clean my uniform. I think I can get the mud out with a little gentle sponging and vinegar," and then he's herding Ray gently towards the Goat and talking non-stop the whole way. By the time Ray can blink, he's sitting at the wheel watching Fraser's serge-clad back disappear round the corner.

_What the hell just happened?_

Ray tries to talk to Fraser about it. But everytime he does, Fraser finds some kind of injustice that has to be fixed right now. It's astonishing how many things need to be done when Ray starts to open his mouth. After Ray has tried for the fifth time to say something to Fraser and all of a sudden “Oh dear. I have to go to the Consulate to do the daily 10989B form. Inspector Thatcher particularly requested it. You know how particular she is, Ray,” and all Ray can think is “You _liar_ ,” and order pizza for dinner again.

The next day, Ray's at his desk in the bull-pen. The worst thing about the job is the paperwork. Which is one of the reasons that having Fraser as a partner works well. Him and his freak typing speeds. Ray hasn't had to fill out a report for months. Fraser comes in and they don't end up doing paperwork. There's some typical injustice and Fraser wants Ray to look into it, maybe flash a little badge. Only, being Fraser, it never turns out to be a typical injustice. It turns out to be bad guys who are impolite as well (which, really, no! Who would have thought?) and the next thing Ray knows they're being chased through a mill being shot at. And then they have to jump into water which will probably kill them even if he _could_ swim.

Ray can handle it, really. It's part of his job. What isn't part of his job, though, is Fraser. Fraser isn't listening to him. Or he only listens to him so he can work out his next way to disagree. It's niggling and Ray hates it. And Fraser won't stop. He doesn't stop, and he doesn't stop and Ray warns him, he really does.

In the back of his mind is the thought that this is it. If Fraser won't listen to him and take him seriously, this is it. They're done. So he pops Fraser one in the mouth, and watches Fraser look surprised and then hurt. And it looks like he miscalculated because this doesn't get through to Fraser. 

It's over.

Then, corpses landing on his car, ghost ships and trips on a submarine. Ray would like to say that he thinks Fraser was taking advantage with the buddy breathing thing, but for once he thinks Fraser isn't a liar. But it's all worked out and things are good again. Ray starts to feel the tiniest bit of hope. Fraser admits that logic doesn't work and Ray admits that his instincts are not always right and Fraser says “So, are we still, uh?” and Ray thinks that _Yes, this is it. This is when it happens_ only it doesn't. It really doesn't. Fraser says “Right you are!” and before Ray can even think of a way to ask him, Fraser's put up a screen of hearty babble. Ray has had it. Fraser is a liar. Not in anything that he says, but in everything that he does. He's stopping Ray from asking and Ray realizes that Fraser doesn't want him to ask.

It's a new thought, but Ray can't work out why Fraser doesn't want him to ask. They'd be good, right? And Fraser's so upright and true and nobody thinks that he could mess anyone around like this. That he would lie. It plays on Ray's mind. It plays on his mind through dinner, and then it plays on his mind so much that that he heads down to the bar to watch the 'Hawks play. It plays on his mind so much that he finds himself banging on the Consulate door at some ungodly hour. Fraser opens the door and wrinkles his nose.

“Ray—,” but Ray has had enough and pushes past Fraser.

“The thing is, Fraser, you're a liar. You've got everyone thinking that you're all, I don't know, maintain the right and whatever. But you're not. You maintain what _you think_ is right. And that's not the same thing.” Ray advances on Fraser, backing him against the Consulate door, pressing a finger into his shoulder.

Fraser gently catches Ray's hand and draws it inexorably down. “And you had to tell me this at three in the morning? You're drunk, Ray.”

“Yeah, so? You're a liar.” Ray pivots on his foot and paces to the middle of the room.

“You keep saying I'm a liar. I don't know what you're referring to.” Fraser's voice is stiff and so is his back. His hands are clenched at his sides.

“Oh, don't even say, I just—you _know_ , Fraser. You know.”

Fraser regards Ray steadily for second and then crosses into the Reception room. It's dark in there, and when Ray follows, Fraser is only visible as a darker outline in the gloom. Ray leans against one side of the windowsill and Fraser stands at the other. 

“What do you see?” Fraser's voice sounds oddly calm.

“I don't know, Fraser. The building next door.” 

Fraser sounds exasperated. “What do you see, Ray?”

So this is important, then. “Um. The fence on the corner. The street. The streetlights. There's one at the corner that's out. The tree. The buildings opposite. A few cars.” 

There is a speaking silence, and then Fraser says “Look at the sky, Ray.”

Ray cranes his neck up. "Could be cloudy. Not like you can tell with all the streetlights."

“Exactly.” Fraser's shadow slumps. “This is your sky. Not mine. My sky has so many stars that you can't count them. I can't _see_ here. I can't breathe.”

And this is it. This is the time. This is the moment when Ray can say something to convince Fraser. “Well, you get used to the pollution—”

“It's not the pollution, Ray. It's here. I can't be here. And you're here, so I can't—” Fraser breaks off and begins again. “I just can't.”

“That's a lie. You can. You just don't want to.”

There's a moment's terrible silence. Ray wants to grab Fraser, to shake him, to say “I can be home. Let me be home,” but he doesn't. And Fraser doesn't move.

“I don't want to.” Fraser's voice is desolate.

Ray swallows and heads for the door. “Sure thing, buddy. I'll just leave you to it, then.”

“Goodbye, Ray.” Fraser sounds calm. Almost as if he's relieved. But he still hasn't moved into the light.

“I'll let myself out.” Ray doesn't slam the door behind him and he doesn't hit the Goat's steering wheel. He does let out a deep breath and rests his face on his hands.

_Liar_.


End file.
